Everything I want in life is probably sitting on the other side of a wall.

Everything I want in life is probably sitting on the other side of a wall.

Not a giant wall. Not some impossible, dramatic obstacle. Just a wall made of humility, embarrassment, and fear.

I used to be scared of doing simple things alone. Going to a cafe alone felt weird. Watching a movie alone felt sad for some reason. Even asking a question in a public setting could feel like a whole mental battle. Before doing anything, I would think too much about how people might see me.

"What if I look awkward?"

"What if people think I'm weird?"

"What if I embarrass myself?"

And because of that, I would stop myself from doing things I actually wanted to do.

But the more I grow, the more I realize: it's really not that deep.

Most people are not paying attention to me as much as I think they are. There is this psychological phenomenon called the spotlight effect. It basically says that we tend to overestimate how much other people notice us. We think we are under a spotlight, like everyone is watching every small mistake, every awkward move, every sentence we say wrong.

But in reality, everyone is busy thinking about themselves.

They are thinking about how they look. What they said earlier. What they need to do next. Whether they are being judged too. Everyone is carrying their own little world in their head.

And honestly, that thought is freeing.

It means I can go to that cafe alone. I can watch a movie by myself. I can ask the "stupid" question in a meeting. I can introduce myself to someone I admire. I can post something before it feels perfect. I can try something new, be bad at it, and still survive.

A lot of life opens up when I stop treating embarrassment like it is the end of the world.

Because it is not.

Being seen trying is not shameful. Starting small is not embarrassing. Not knowing everything is not a weakness. Sometimes, humility is the price I have to pay to grow. Sometimes, the only way to get better is to accept that I might look a little awkward in the beginning.

And that is fine.

I do not want to keep living like every small decision is a courtroom and every stranger is part of the jury. I do not want fear to make my life smaller than it needs to be.

So I am trying to remind myself:

Do the thing.

Go alone.

Ask the question.

Start before it is perfect.